Annalee ’s Thursday edition of irregular sex chromatography column to the full Functional(That ’s a editorial about sexual practice that runs on an irregular schedule , not a column about irregul – Oh , you understand . Never mind . ) surely seemed to raise the choler of the vampire hater in our audience :
https://gizmodo.com/why-are-vampires-so-damn-sexy-5124225
QimatPower : “ I just wanted to make this clear : vampires are not interesting . ( I felt this mode before Twilight , 30 Days of Night , True descent , Let the Right One In , and everything else . ) ”
Indigen : “ Nice clause but I ’m allow a little mystified , because I never found vampires sexy . I realise the perversity of the whole shtick , and I sleep with there are multitude out there into battue and supremacy etcetera , but are there really that many of those citizenry to write a whole article addressing every reader as if they accord ? Nobody I know would . ”
Convair 990A : “ Hmm . I have a hard time conceiving of them as anything other than highly - optimize vote down machine along the lines of a xenomorph from LV426 or something from Skynet … Modern anti - Victorians can read all they need into Bram Stoker , but I mean the common thread rest : These thing are not your friend and they ’re not acting in your interests . You ’re an ultimately spendable and ambulant supplying of resources for them that just happen to portion out some aspects of external coming into court with them . ”
Kaiser - Machead : “ Sure , they ’re sexy in picture show , but just imagine the smell of slaughter on their breath .. unless you ’re into that variety of thing , then vamp away . ”
Okay , maybe not that last one . But still ; dissent was clearly in the melody – Even those who match that ancestry sucking = teh hawtness had nits to pick :
Belabras : “ Really , Braum Stoker ’s Dracula is more about power than conquest – Dracula himself is regarded as repugnant by everyone who encounters him , but he is able to predominate others through his supernatural power . He ’s not a role player , he ’s a rapist . ”
theizz : “ You have to study Dracula in the context of use of repressive Victorian lodge . Dracula was popular b / c he allow reader of both sexes to think about forbidden sex without feel ashamed . It ’s not that the human character ( and readers ) are depraved for finding Dracula sexy , it ’s that hypnotic sex appeal is one of Dracula ’s powers and the humans are too weak to fight it . The humans are absolve of guiltiness . The woman get fantasize about a sexy buff and the humanity get to fantasize about “ sizable ” women clamoring for and enjoying sexual activity . ”
bonniegrrl : “ That ’s one of the few thing the Victorians got right in my Word — erotica disguise as vampire tales of panic . ”
Thankfully , some commenters were seek to be constructive and helpful to those tracking the sexy vampire track :
helical : “ I wonder if we could pinpoint the exact time vampire myth alter . early myths had vampires as repulsive , ugly , more zombie - like being that just happened to be alive after their time and needed blood- you see that myth picked up more in things like Nosferatu . At some point they became vernal , beautiful and sexual . Was it the Victorian geological era , or is their a informant before it where the myth changed ? ”
geekgrrl : “ my vestigial supposition would be , it seems more like a change in locus .. you found the abhorrent , board - up - your - windowpane vampire in Eastern Europe , but they take on on a aphrodisiacal posture in the West . like you say , i ’m certain there was a turning point , but locomotion made it more pronounced . ”
MinervaAlpaca : “ That ’s Polidori ’s doing . He free-base his vampyre , “ Lord Ruthven , ” on his familiar Lord Byron — and thus popularizd the melodic theme of the vampire as a dashing Byronic seducer . ”
AngryEddy : “ At what point did they all begin patronize at Hot Topic ? ”
taxbaby : “ I call back I think that from Stoker . Did n’t Jonathan Harker report the ‘ three sisters ’ as wearing chokers and Invader Zim T - shirts ? ”
But , in reality , only Killa_Charlie truly got to the heart of the subject :
Why are they so aphrodisiac ? Cause we ’re all 14 class old young lady in reality .
Factually wrong , perhaps – in reality , I ’m actually male and twenty years older than that , sadly – but on some cosmic allegoric grade , so , so true .
io9 OurobourosMETAVampires
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